Imara Development Programmes


We have a Troubling Relationship with it... (Revisited)

Aug 25, 03:40 PM

By Joe Z Mairura

We desire it…

We chase it…

We need it…

We all want it…

We long to acquire more of it…

It helps soften the blow…

We both admire and loathe it in others…

We are prepared to: dismiss, judge, suspect, condemn, hate, and in some cases kill for it…

…yes; literally.

In case you haven’t worked it out yet…

…I am talking about money, riches and financial wealth.

We have a very dichotomous relationship with money and wealth- a troubling relationship at that. We hold some weird and deep-seated societal ideas and beliefs about money, riches and wealth.

The thing is, we are unconscious to all this. But it comes out –“seeps” out- in the language we use and in the way we speak about money, wealth and riches and rich people,

Take a moment or two and re-run in your head, the myriad conversations you have had about money, riches, rich people, your attitude to those with more than you etc…

What did you discover?

I don’t need to know the answer; you do.

Perhaps you might consider this question too: What’s the source of the beliefs you hold about money; moreover what’s the validity of the evidence that supports your beliefs or attitude to it?

All I ask is that you are stone- cold honest with yourself about what is revealed to you about your beliefs, thoughts, feelings and resulting behaviours and actions about money, riches and financial wealth.

These ideas reside deep within your subconscious and unless you are aware or conscious of them, they will manifest themselves in your daily realities, through your conversations, behaviours as actions.

In the last four years or so I have spent thousands of hours with: professionals, professional business owners, fellow business owners, and with my coach and mentor exploring and reflecting on this.

Over this time, I learnt a very uncomfortable truth; which hit me like a boomerang on its ‘return flight’; right between the eyes … pretty much ‘floored me’

Do you wanna know what is was?


Perhaps best not to


No way…

It might knock you for six…

You’re gonna need a ‘Scotch on the Rocks…straight up’, or similar, on the ready; cuz this be huuuuuuuge!

Well, here goes…

Don’t say I didn’t warn you…

The vast majority of people, business owners included, fear success-including financial success-more than they fear failure!

You might want to read the above sentence again.

They do

Perhaps you do; but have not given it much thought

I did!

And I’m still reeling from this discovery about my thinking, my beliefs, my attitudes, behaviours and actions about money and how all this has played out in my personal and business life.

… I’m dead serious

“Get outta here Joe” I hear you say…

You see, that’s exactly it, I bet you dismissed it outright…

Perhaps because you were expecting it and it took you completely by surprise!

Left you feeling a bit uncomfortable perhaps?

Put you on the spot, may be?

You see, that right there is the very problem.

We don’t belief and as consequence don’t think we have a troubled relationship with money or financial wealth. Sadly the, majority of us do…

And we’re completely unconscious to it.


Because we have been so programmed over the years, that we are not even aware we‘re doing it. And our immediate responses, reactions are nothing but merely a deep seated automatic defence mechanism; often framed in some sort of rationalisation, justification or some ‘simplistic’ explanation

And do you know where it comes from?

I’ll tell you…

…From our ‘knotted’, warped’, confusing, confused and self-sabotaging and self-limiting belief system and subsequent attitudes towards money and financial wealth. And do you know what; most of these beliefs we did not even originate; instead they have been programmed into us over a very long time.

Any of the following ring any bells?

Blessed are the poor….

Money does not bring you happiness…

Money is not the be and end of all…

It’s not all about money…

Money is not everything…

Money doesn’t grow on trees…

Work hard and you will do well… you will be rich/wealthy…

Money is the root of all evil…

Take this last one for example; we have down the years, conveniently omitted “the love of money bit at the start of the above statement; and the resulting consequences?

Money is intrinsically evil.

Do you grasp the implication?

Our troubled relationship with it… positive and negative? it is all around you!

Don’t get me wrong; we all desire for and aspire to the kind of financial wealth that allows us a lifestyle of choice and freedom.

But you see the issue is not about the wanting; it’s more about the believing.

So I ask you:

What do you really believe about money and wealth?

Do you believe you are worthy of it?

How do your beliefs about money and your being worthy of it, manifest themselves in your daily life?

I offer you these questions to aid your thinking into this very real and important aspect of all our lives.

Do not be deceived by the simplicity of the questions. I encourage you to really “go within”, because without doing so “you will go without”. The clarity that ensues as a result of thinking into this is both, liberating and affirming

A lot of people think positively about money and financial wealth, but unconsciously believe negatively and therefore think and act negatively.

Here is an incontrovertible truth; what you think about money and wealth, will determine how much flows into or out of your life. It’s therefore important to sort out your beliefs and thinking about money riches and wealth; because how and what you think about money and wealth, has a huge impact on how much comes into or flows out of your life

Think into the above questions honestly and deeply and they will provide a window to your subconscious and the resident “architect” (belief system) sponsoring your thinking, behaviour and actions and decisions about money and wealth.

I offer these thoughts to you in the spirit of service

With my warmest regards


P.S. Remember, the quality of question(s) you’re willing to ask yourself or be asked by others will determine the quality of answers received….and, consequently, the quality of life you lead.



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